Phenomenon Revealed A Lesson Learned by a Montessori Teacher

I have been working towards this dream/goal of having my own classroom for sixteen years! I have been a co-teacher in a Montessori 3-6 classroom, a paraprofessional in each grade K-6, a long term sub third grade teacher, and a lunch waitress for 5 of those years. I have also been a mom for 27 years. I have learned a lot, yet know there is just as much that I have not yet learned. I realize I have dated myself however my history is critical to demonstrate that learning is an ongoing, forever process.

I have worked with the most academically and behaviorally challenged students for the last eight years. I have witnessed the daily drudgeries of kindergarteners who struggle to sit still, of fourth graders at first grade math level that didn’t understand the concept of making ten, and of sixth graders who couldn’t read beyond the second grade level. I have witnessed their depression, their temper tantrums, violent outbursts, thrown clip boards, chairs, and desks. I have felt their frustrations and despair as they struggled every day to learn and “fit” in. I could easily tell what it was they hadn’t learned and what it was they needed to learn, but I don’t think I ever considered the totality of what they had learned.

Now I find myself with a class of six three years olds, six four year olds, and ten Kindergarteners. Dr. Maria Montessori referred to these ages as the stage of the Absorbent Mind.  The fours and fives spent last year together as threes and fours in a classroom in which chaos was the rule of order.  The circumstances were most unfortunate for everyone involved and the consequences are very real. Chaos was absorbed, chaos was learned. I had heard “bits and pieces” about last year, but truly understood on the day I met my Kindergarteners!

 As a whole class with mixed ages and experiences we have spent fifteen days together. The multitude of inappropriate behaviors are not really that dramatic; however exasperating they seem, compared to what my peers in the upper elementary, middle, and high school grades are experiencing. I am also not that concerned because they are only 3, 4, & 5 and I have all year to teach and re-teach. The lesson in this story has been revealing itself to me as I tried to get a handle on the chaos that kept asserting itself into each “perfect” day over the past three weeks.  I have realized a phenomenon as “the answer”!  I have realized what they have learned and now understand what they have not yet learned! And so, I must teach accordingly.

            All behavior choices are made based on what an individual has and has not yet learned. This may not seem earth shattering to you at first, but I ask you to slow down, back up a bit. Think of a student in your class who is struggling with behavior choices, think of a grown up in your present life that also struggles with their “behavior choices”. Then consider that these less than appropriate choices are simply a result of what they have and what they have not yet learned.

            The next challenge for us as grownups and teachers is to decide what our responsive choice is going to be. Should we react in a way that scolds, punishes, isolates, demeans, belittles, or embarrasses? Or as grownups and teachers do we think before we react? Do we pause to consider the function of the behavior, it is something that has been learned, and it is something that has not yet been learned. If it is a learned behavior that needs to be modified, then as teachers we must teach the appropriate alternative. If it is a behavior that comes from not knowing the appropriate choice, then once again as teachers we must teach the appropriate choice. 

            This must shake you to your core! You must take the time to consider; learned and not yet learned, then teach accordingly.

            I felt compelled to share this phenomenon revealed because I know the truth of the day in the life of an educator and I know the truth of the day in the life as a single mother. I know it is much easier to react when burdened with all of the stresses, pressures, and burdens of the job and everyday life. Reacting is a lot easier than thinking! Punishing is quicker than teaching.

Stop, take the time to think about the individual child who is struggling with making appropriate behavior choices. It doesn’t matter whether they are 3, 6, 9, 12, 15, 18, 21, or even 24. Their brains are only 3, 6, 9, 12 … 24 years old. Think of what they have learned and not yet learned.

We, as teachers, as parents, as spouses, as siblings, and as children ourselves have expectations of how the other people in our lives should behave. Just because we expect something of someone, doesn’t mean they have properly learned it yet. When the students in our class, co-workers, members of our families, etc. make inappropriate behavior choices the natural inclination is to react. Most often our own choice is to react negatively with consequences that scold, punish, isolate, demean, belittle, or embarrass. Stop, take the time to consider; this is because it is what we have learned and because of what we have not yet learned.

No child or adult, no student or teacher is ever too old to learn. Stop, take the time to consider; learned and not yet learned, then teach accordingly.